…um…

…

…I think I can stop it…the…

Biological diseases aren’t too hard to fix…like…you’re a doctor, right?

…yes.

The voices in your head… I can transfer one to your friend.

Actually it’s not that hard…

We can make this a little faster if we use 5̶̢̯͔̭̰̊͊0̶̧̡̢͙̻̄̐̎4̵̹͇͉͒̋͒̕F̴̨͉̽4̵̫͊̎̂̚B̸̦͌̈́̌̀4̷̡͈͍̙̝̎͂̑̓5̸̲͚͈̻̾͂̄4̷̟͖͌̇̚4̵͓̼̺̮̘͂͑̎̇̈4̸̤͖̪̉͑͠5̸̛̼̣͊͒̅̇5̸̺̮̮̋̌8̴̛̝͖̗̖̐͜5̶̨̥̥̭̃̀̒͌ͅ4̶̗̬͐ͅ5̸̡͈͙͗̇̈́̚͘2̶̣̯̗͛̀̍4̶̠̯̞̒͛̍͂͜͠1̷͙̱̌4̷̧̳͍͐̇̋̑̈Ē̶͙̖̘͔̆5̸̱̪͕̗͉͂̚3̸̢̤̣̳̗͐̀͝4̸̮̄̈́͑̀̕ͅ6̴̞̖͔̔̽4̸̖̈́́̍ͅ5̸̻͈͉͛̾5̸͔̺̺̝̲̕2̴̧͖͚̊̊4̵̮̟̠͛̎̍̚ͅ1̸̠̹̝͆̋̈́̆4̷̡͋̀́̿C̴̢̦̟̪̠̔̍̈́̄̏.

Stay still…

Hey doc, my buddy hee-re got hit with a microp-ho-ne! He tried stealing a tiny drum!

Me am more pain, again.

Wait… where the hee did that guy ho?

Where did everybody go?

Sorry… Let’s see your friend before it’s too late.

You didn’t have to blast… uh… let’s just hurry.

Huh? Wh-

Pokétransporter allows you to transfer Pokémon from a compatible game. Would you like to download Pokétransporter from the eShop?

> Yes
No

Downloading…

Download Completed.

Welcome to the Pokemon Bank. Would you like to transfer Box 1?

…uh…wait…he seems fi-

> Yes
No

Transferring…

Mmmph! MMMPPHH!!!!

Transfer complete.

What the hell was that Piccolo?!

My life??!! I was sleeping!

My?…Ohhhhhhhh! Piccolo, you’re so gullible! When I told you I had ligma it was a joke! Ligma balls, get it? Funny, huh! (Oh my god that’s hysterical hahaha, up top dude!) Wait, who’s this in my head?

Uh… yeahhhhh. You really need to start knowing how to take jokes, Piccolo.

Yeah I’m fine, dude, now can you tell me who’s this voice in my head? (Sup, I’m your new roommate.)

Again, not my fault you can’t take a joke, Piccolo. (Trust me, he’s always like this, bro.) Hahahaha! Even this voice thinks you can’t! How funny is that? You know, I feel this new voice and I are gonna be great friends!

Anyway, do you and your uh… friend there wanna go get something to eat? I’m starving after being suffocated by your hand.

.gif

Uh… nothing. Let’s go.

Pharrell Goddamn Williams. What do you want?

I do mind. Actually, I’m not hungry anymore. I’m gonna go.

… [You feel intimidated, but confident.]

Hey, it’s you. What are you doing here?

…yeah, I do. We meet regularly at-

What, got something to say about it?

…hmm.

Not much. What’s there to follow at this point?

Huh?

Well, I was expecting you to win it all.

Don’t thank me, I’m actually jealous as all hell. This audience is fucking backwards. The cream of the crop, Will Smith, Pitbull, even me, all eliminated at Round 1. And for whatever fucking reason, you got a pass.

I, uh… I don’t care as much as you. Why should I care when I already sell millions of albums? I don’t need this fuckin’ crown.

Easy for you to say now that you’re out.

…Hmph.

I heard that. Drop the damn facade, French bot. What’s up with me?

Don’t get on my nerves.

…

Well, he communicates by other means…

Weren’t you listening? I know this kid!

…! [You are surprised. You’ve never seen Adam getting interested at other contestants like this before.]

You shouldn’t get the kid doin’ dirt. I don’t want him to feel overexposed.

Shut your ass up, P!

I’m the same as I ever was, P. And just because I know the kid, that, uh… that doesn’t mean I’m his friend! How can I call someone my friend if I met him just a few days ago? I wonder how you ever managed to get picked in a jury with such poor judging skills, P. But hey, you’re Pharrell Williams, you just used clout to get there, so I’m not surprised.

… [This is starting to feel an awful lot like that one dinner…]

There’s your opportunity to get a funny line! I fuckin’ hate you, P.

Why do you keep trying, bot. Pharrell is such an attention seeker, no wonder why he chases collaborations left and right. Twenty years of career, only a bunch of songs to call yours! Where does your fame even come fr-

What the FUCK, man?

… [You know Adam is better than this.]

I can’t do it, kid. There are things I appreciate in you and the others in your group but… I’m talking to Pharrell Williams right now. Tell you what, I must get out before I make anything worse here.

…

… [At least you tried.]

… [You’re gonna miss this place too.]

…Yeah. I didn’t give a shit about this whole gig at first but… I bet my heart there’s stuff in here that I’ll miss. I didn’t get along with everyone either, and this tournament won’t ever change my opinion of Pharrell here, but at least I found some other people I think I could get along with just fine.

I still can’t digest the fact I got eliminated so quickly though…

You’re a judge too, don’t you know this? In any tournament, there’s always gotta be some people who will drop out without a win.

I got some inspiration from a few, uh… pals.

… [You feel content.]

Well, see you around.

What?

I don’t care about what you think of me. My opinion of you three didn’t change anyways.

…I missed the conversations since I left my band. That’s all there is to it.

…?

…

…? [You wonder why Curly would spy on Thomas of all people.]

…! [You got all the information you need!]

…

… [You feel reassured.]

…?

…! [You now feel much calmer about this. You’ll just have to wait and see what happens now.]

…

… [Obtained the Reference. You’ll add it to your growing collection.]

Oh, hello Professor! Just… taking some time for myself.

Not at all! I’d love some company. Especially after everything that just happened…

Thanks! I was on the edge of my seat watching the results for that match.

I think I can!

You know, technically, I’ve been making “funky fresh beats” longer than you have! You better watch that, comin’ atcha!

…You know, K, I never imagined I would get this far. I really thought this audience just wasn’t very interested in me when the Jack Brothers put in me in losers’ bracket. But now I’m just one match away from winning. I just can’t believe it… Thank you so much for your help, especially in the beginning. I don’t think I could have done it without you.

“That bear”?

Um, what? That’s an odd thing to say.

What?!

Goodness… Do you really think he was serious? Maybe he was bluffing?

…I hardly know what to do with myself to tell you the truth. It’s been such a ride! There’s been so many strange new people, and technology, and experiences, and… don’t even get me started about the food… and the music! I think I’ve been acquainted now with over a dozen new genres that don’t exist yet back home. Some of it I still find a little… strange… Though I’ve enjoyed a ton of it. They really picked the best of the best to compete here.

…Yes. I suppose so.

Well… MissingNo.…

Oh, it didn’t do anything, don’t worry. We’re still good friends. But… he told me that I have these “algorithm powers”, similar to what he has. That maybe I was the one who sent myself here into the present, and that I could go back in time if I knew how?

I think so!

Well, of course! But… See, if I was the one that brought myself here… then winning the tournament might mean… Or if I lost… I don’t know if I would… Or if it would be possible for me to –

…I assumed for the longest time that if I lost the tournament that I would be sent back home. I never thought much more of it, especially in the beginning when I assumed I had no chance at winning. But… now it’s a very real possibility that I might win everything. And if that happens, I’m going to be the “King for a Day” at some point in the future. Which means I’m probably not going to go back home until I’ve been King.

Then I get to go back home again.

…It would be wonderful to win. But I don’t think I’d be disappointed at all if I lost against you.

And the same goes to you.

No matter what happens, it’s been an honor to perform by your side. For my endearing fans, I will give it my best and show you the real power of city pop! You’d better keep your guard up, Professor!

I think we did it! The MF like button really did the trick!

I think so too, great job every-

Oh no! Quick, somebody catch him!

Me grab tiny camera.

From me to you, cat with shiny coin.

It was no problem, you funky lil’ camcorder!

Absolutely! It was a pretty crazy situation, but at least it’s all… settled… H-hey, what’s that up there?

NOOOOOOOOO!

Sweet Neptune! It’s broken up into shards! …Eh, Y-you can still sell the pieces, right? RIGHT?! Come ‘ere money!

HEY! Who says you can just hog all of the pieces for yourself, huh?

Yeah, those shards are ours! Get lost, crab cake!

Finders keepers! Arkarkarkarkarkark!

Grrr, you cheater!

Get over here, you shrimp!

Argh! Get yer dirty mitts off me money!

Not a chance, bucko!

Don’t count what you don’t have boys! This competition has been such a rollercoaster of emotions. With how much we’ve experienced together, treasure or not, we already have so much! (Hmm… maybe I should write a song about that someday.)

Mariya’s right, everyone! This has been a wild ride for all of us, who needs some rusty old crown at the end of it all? What really matters is that we came out here and put out some sick tunes, and have a blast! You all feel me?

Heh… That’s fuckin’ ga-

I MAY HAVE LOST, BUT I’VE MADE SO MANY FRIENDS! SURELY THAT IS THE MORAL OF THIS STORY!

…! [You feel enlightened by your skeletal friend!]

Yes, ultimately the object of our primal desire is but a drop of water in the sands of time.

WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Studio Gunner, more like Studio Goner! HEHEHEHEHE!

WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Quote!! I need to get out there and help him!!

I can fight too, I gotta help Johnny!

I can’t leave my big buddy alone out there! We need to get out there and help!

Let us past! Everyone’s in danger! We gotta help!

WOAH!

Do not go outside my bruddas, it is too dangerous. It is not de wae! *click click*

Don’t worry! I got’cha covered!

This’ll hold ’em alwight! Heheheheheh.

Yeah, right! NGAAAAAAAH!!

Gnghh, what the hell..!?

Dangerous? DANGEROUS?! We literally have 2 Satans here! …somehow.

Hey.

Salutations.

If that really is the only way… then we have no choice!! Let’s do our best, for everyone!!

Yeah!

YEAH!

The GG’s got everyone’s back! Let’s show that old geezer and all the others our support!

I’ll cheer everyone on too!

Why does my grandson always have to get into trouble? Eugh… I guess he wouldn’t be a true Kong otherwise! Hehehehe!

I could beat this hunk of junk with my eyes closed, but I guess it ain’t a bad idea to let the rookies show their stuff! Gwahahaha!

The Mighty Kamina and Team Dai-Gurren may not be able to fight this time, but with our support, those fighters and that huge button’ll surely stop that cheap party hat!

Let’s show this crown the power of our bonds!

ランランルーーーーーー!!!

Well? What are we waiting for! Let’s show some support!

Uh… R-right! You have the support of everyone in CN City!

Okay, everyone! Let’s put all our support into the MF Like Button and end this story once and for all!~

Fuck… if we get through this, it’s definitely going in my tinder bio.

Wait, you think playing the hero card will be better than the fake cancer story? Damn, this must be good stuff.

As much as I despise Krabs, I’d hate it even more if we had to keep watching this Neptune-forsaken tournament forever.

Tell me about it… If it’s anything to get this silly thing over with, that like button has my support.

Bean just got out of the hospital to watch this thing with everyone, and now this is all happening. Poor fella. Let’s show them our support, pal!

Hohoho. Big camera!

It’s time to hit em’ with the Chungus!

o rly

wats teh matter mouth r u CRYING?

uhhhh i think dat’s called trauma mewoth

me 2 meowt, we are bffs 4 life now

if i ever needed 2 sleep i wud be vry tired rn

no problemo bud

kinda sad that im not gonna b the king anymor

uhhhhhhhhh i gues that makes sense

truly a tortellini as some might say

wait since when did we have a stadium

shudnt we wait 4 john

he bettr hurry up coz i dont want to wait any longer this is too exciting

no, why?

OI, WAKE UP!

Jeez, a couple more minutes and I would’ve made a Body Discovery announcement!

I’m sorry… I really am…

I tried teachin’ MissingNo. how to make knishes, but somethin’ musta gone wrong.

I swear, it wasn’t intentional. I tried following HOBaRT’s directions but…

C’mon, don’t beat y’self up, mate. Ya did the best ya could.

Oh… well, thank you.

Are you gonna finish those? I’m famished!

Crikey, is that bear okay?!

…MF DOOM…

Hello! I would like one supersized Reese’s Cup McFlurry.

What? But I bought one here last week!

This is nutrageous! Get me your manager!

Understandable, have a good day.

C’est pas vrai, tu ne vas pas me dire que ton casque est encore bloqué !

Ahoy, Mr. Squidward! I’ve got a brand new idea that’s gonna reel in some serious wampum! These land-lubber burger joints seem ta be sellin’ plant burgers, and they’re bringin’ in profits like nobody’s business! New assignment for ya: find all the seaweed ya can find, and start makin’ patties outta it! We’ll call it, “The Impossible Patty”!

Where are ye gonna get the seaweed from? I think there’s a few patches of it in the back near the dumpster. Just give it ta SpongeBob, he’ll be able ta figure it out.

Unsanitary? Mr. Squidward, I worked on the S.S. Diarrhea, ya can’t tell me takin’ a bit of plants from outside isn’t safe. Make sure SpongeBob rinses it off before he uses it if yer so afraid of a few gerrrms.

No buts! When I get back from this here tournament, I wanna see the green from that green! So long, Mr. Squidward!

Otacon, do you read me?

Hrnnngh… Burger.

Big burger, Otacon. And a mouth-watering Egg McMuffin sandwich from the new all-day breakfast menu.

And Otacon. Always remember.

I’m lovin’ it.

Not particularly, no.

If you’re interested in a place with acceptable tea, could we not have gone somewhere else?

Milady, watch your language. Such talk is improper for a young woman such as yourself.

No, you said “God”.

Hmm… well, I know you like these hamburgers, but are you really sure you need ten of them?

Hey, these Donut Sticks are really good! Do you want one? I’ll share.

Aww, what a pity! This is fast food, don’t complain about it, weirdo!

He’s right, Wario. Forgetting onions in a burger is terrible! How can this McDonald’s thing be Number 1 instead of Waluigi’s amazing Tacostand?

Well, I guess if they keep doin’ rookie mistakes like these in here, we’re-a-gonna win in your business game in no time! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

Me win again.

That’s like your seventh win in a row! Hee-how do you keep winning?

Snowman friend might win more if he learned large brain stuff like wavedash and did not just press the red button many times.

Says the demon who can’t even remember hee-s own name, ho! It’s these ancient controllers that’re keeping m-hee back, ho!

Ind-hee-d it is, ho!

Good, mayb-hee you can beat this cheater, ho!

Me not cheat. Me honest.

Yeah right! Regg-hee, smash the hee-ho outta him!

Human is worst Smash player me has seen.

Me think me have some.

Me took it when me went to doctor.

Budd-hee, you’re supposed to take a pump of it, not the whole thing… You don’t even have an-hee hands, ho.

Me like the taste. Good on French fry.

Uhh… H-how much san-hee-tizer have you been eating, ho…

All of it.

Hee-ho no…

Ooooooh! I didn’t knew you were into spicy things!

WHAT? THEY DON’T SELL SALMON HERE? THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! I’M OUT!

Elmo doesn’t know how to get down, Jack!

Elmo used the stairs! … Elmo doesn’t know if they really are stairs…

Elmo doesn’t know where the “stairs” are!

Elmo doesn’t know where the slide is either!

Hakuko-san, Elmo-chan is trapped! I’m gonna go rescue him, da-don!

Oh hello Mr. Drum!

Don’t worry little oni, I’m here to get you da-down, da-don!

… I don’t know how to get down either, don…

Dude, where the fuck have you been? McDee hasn’t offered McSpaghetti in ages!

Better not regret it. Those could make you vomit on your sweater already. Like Mom’s-

C’mon, Bluster, we’re already eatin’ over there!

… Oh, okay, fine. Keep choosin’!

Eeeeeyuck! Those Banana Milkshakes taste absolutely horrible! How can anyone eat this garbage?

If I was manager, I’d tell my suppliers where to find good bananas around. These ones taste too dull!

Ol’ Cranky has a point, though. This Banana Choc Muffin tastes weird…

Whoa, DK, where did you get those?

What the- another monkey?

Oh man! Hey, DK, you alright?

Hey, hey! The monkey is under Elmo’s chair!

Oh no… Sorry, that might be me. Hey, buddy, come out.

I already told you not to steal food! I know you like bananas, but you need to ask if you want some!

Hehehe, maybe your monkey wants you to be friends with the other monkey, da-don!

*sigh* My boy ain’t very good with negotiations…

Can’t say I have.

aight.

Hey g, would you make me a sandwich?

n o

もしもし?

アラアアアア!

ランランルーーーーーー!!!

ランランルーーーーーー!!!

ランランルーーーーーー!!!

…何?

Man this sucks, we get eliminated from the tournament again and we still have to do these dumbass interviews?

yeah

Just fucking get on with it already, we all know why you called both these teams here.

Calmados! We’re just here to talk about the tournament.

Trust us, we ain’t happy about getting eliminated either… Right, H?

[…]

Fuck this shit and fuck you especially, you fucking clout chaser.

[SILENCE. I BUST SICK ASS MOVES WHILE YOU THRUST YOUR HIPS AS IF ANY SENTIENT LIFEFORM IN THE UNIVERSE WOULD WANT TO GET WITH YOU.]

Woah woah woah! Let’s cool it down in here. Don’t you guys think it’s about time to make up? You guys used to be so close!

The fuck would you know, you half-gringo?

[…]

Okay, go back to ignoring me, asshole.

Come on now! I don’t think that you two constantly fighting is making Marcianito happy either. Marcianito, would you be willing to team up with Howard again?

yeah

See, Popoy? You and Howard just gotta put aside your differences and make up. You guys made incredible music during the last tournament, even if you guys got eliminated so soon. I think that everyone is willing to give you guys a second chance. Just think about it. You guys have the power to bring happiness to so many people across the globe!

I’m not teaming up again with that fucking asshole over there!

[NEITHER WILL I. I REFUSE.]

You two used to be so close and had so much fun together, like uhh… like in those 3 AM challenge videos! You spooked those guys really good!

yeah

Nah, fuck that.

And what about your time in the first tournament? That time you all danced at the First-Round Losers’ Cypher together? Come on, Popoy! Are you really going to let something like this decide the future of your career? This is your chance to make it big! This is your guys’ chance to steal the spotlight!

[…ADMITTEDLY, TERRORIZING THOSE PRANK CALLERS WAS AMUSING.]

ayy lmao

Just say you’re sorry, guys.

…

Are we really doing this shit…?

yeah

[YES.]

[I AM SORRY.]

…Ah, fuck it. I-I’m sorry too. Let’s just leave this behind. This obviously didn’t work out for any of us either…

[TOGETHER WE WILL SHOW EVERYONE HOW MAGNIFICENT WE ARE.]

That’s right! I believe in you guys, when you’re together, you can do anything!

Aren’t you glad too, that your fr-

I’m sorry H… You know what we have to do, we can’t have the public know about these two aliens here… or you.

WHAT? Are fuckin’ KIDDING me right now?!?!!?!?? You’re really gonna do this? We’ve LITERALLY gone viral now!

yeah

[PLEASE AGENT J, CONSTRAIN YOURSELF.]

This is our job H, sometimes we gotta make tough choices for the safety of the public.

Stop! Will!

Will, I might be Mr. Worldwide, but I know that even past our world there are many beings that just want to make music like you and me. Please, Will. Let them go and let them make their music…

*sigh* Aight man… I’ll let you guys go. Once this tournament is over, you three can go and do whatever you like. Just… please try to make sure I don’t run into you guys while I’m doing my job. And don’t tell anyone about this, ya hear?

Will, I’ve been around the world, so trust me when I say that there’s only a few universal languages. I believe song and dance are two of those.

I guess it’s settled then. After the tournament, we’ll all join back up and form the Dancing Alien Team. There’s no way we’re gonna flop again!

[THANK YOU, AGENT J. FOR EVERYTHING]

It’s a’ight…

[IT HAS BEEN A PLEASURE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE.]

yeah

… (Wow, that battle was tough… thought it would never end…)

Ba, ba ba ba ba… ba ba! Ba ba!

Same to you, Professor.

Upupupup.. Upupupupup…

(*sigh*… Just a little longer before this is all over…)

Upupupupupup, Okay! I’ve decided! That match was so much fun that we should do it again!

Are you kidding? I’m exhausted, We’ve been fighting for 24 hours now!

Wha?? On the contrary! Everything I say has importance!

Then what about the time you sai-

YOU PROMISED NOT TO MENTION THAT EVER HAPPENED.

That’s what I thought.

Yeah, you’re right. I’ll see you two later then.

Awe, leaving so soon? Nighty night, Nickie!!

And don’t let the bedbugs bite, right?

Phuhuhuhu!!

*groan*… good night.

… So. You ready? It’s time to give those fans what they really want!

The conclusion of our rivalry! You, the heroic protagonist! Me, the fearful, handsome antagonist! Finally going head to head, trying to outsmart the other. A TRUE anime story arc!

Oh, come on… let’s put some resolution to that narrative they’ve made for us!

Our beloved fans! They see YOU as the “protagonist” of the entire tournament! Didn’t you know?

Phuhuhuhuhu….

Oh come on now. Results? Who cares about results? Results, reschmults! Let’s get some clout the old fashioned way! Come on, have at me with some of that juicy motivational sweet-talk! Make me shudder, make me swoon! Make me optimistic for the future!

Grrrrrrr, come on! Give me SOMETHING to work with! I’m trying to do you a favor!

Oh? What’s that? Is that anger I hear? Yes… Yes! Give us more, more, more!

Are you kidding? I’m just getting started!

Hm? Then why haven’t YOU gone to bed? Answer me that, smart-ass!

Don’t try and deny it. You little attention seeker you… You need this as much as I do. So let’s settle this. Right here, right now!

Oo Ooo Ooooo! Do you need some ideas? I have a million!! How about a gun duel? Or a stabby stabby? A strangling contest! Russian Roulette! A-

Say wha…?

Wha- Hey! You can’t do that!

…

H-h-hey! No! We’re not finished here yet!

Winning? GNAAAA! I don’t care about winning! If I cared about “winning” I would have paired up with some other chump! Like maybe that Monika chick, she’s hot and popular! They would have gone crazy over us! We would have swept the entire tournament! No, winning is BORING! You know what’s better? LOSING! Oh, the despair! So awful! The terror! The chills, the thrills! To get this far and to lose to you? I would be the happiest bear in the world!

You want me to shut up? To go to bed? Well go ahead, do me in! Shoot me! You know you want to! Do it, do it, do it!

Alright then, I’ll do you one better!

That button you’re holding is connected to an explosive that I have strapped to… well… Let’s just say… You know what.

Yes. You know what.

No! Get your mind out of the gutter! My REAL body! The real me! Push that button and the real me will be blown away to smithereens! The glorious Monokuma will disappear without a trace… and if I win our stupid little battle, the illustrious Law and Disorder duo will have no choice but to disband and exit the tournament, putting you back on the path to sweet victory to the REAL final battle!

You’re no killer?! Ha! EVERYONE is a killer! They just don’t know it yet! Murder is the simplest of all solutions, it’s a shame that most people just don’t have the guts to try it! Somebody in your way of something you want? Kill ‘em! Somebody doing something that isn’t right? Kill ‘em! Somebody “messing with your groove”? KILL ‘EM! It’s a hell of a lot easier than trying to get them to do what you want, that’s for sure! But here’s the best part: I’m giving you a once-in-a-life-time chance to get away with it scott free! Do you know how many people would pay millions for this? And even better yet, I’m giving you PERMISSION to kill me! What fun!

So what are you waiting for? DO IT!!!

Press the damn button you fartbag, or I’ll press it FOR YOU!!

I AM mad! Mad that you’re not pressing that button!!

Hmmmmmm?

This is no joke! Bear’s honor!

Yep! Dead as a doornail!

Oh, phooey…

You sure? This is a one-time offer that doesn’t stand tomorrow!

Alrighty then! Enjoy being a loser for the rest of your life!