MissingNo Cooks up a Storm


*The cafeteria.*
Meowth

Ahhhh!! MissingNo! Wha- Hello? What are you doing here???

MissingNo.

I’m here for the dinner shift…

Meowth

Dinner?! What?

MissingNo.

They employed me to work in the kitchen.

Meowth

…oh! Um…well, first of all, it’s great to have you on board, but HOBaRT’s still in the factory…

MissingNo.

What? Is he okay?

Meowth

Some new complications came up. Nothing major, they just had to push back his release date. But also…dinner doesn’t start for four hours.

MissingNo.

I know.

Meowth

…How long have you been here?

MissingNo.

Not long.

*Meowth gives MissingNo a weird look.*
Meowth

…Why don’t you…uh…take the day off? We have plenty of leftover food…

MissingNo.

…oh…okay…

*MissingNo dissipates.*
Meowth

…and wait! We should also schedule a – ! Rats. At this rate we’ll never get a proper interview…

~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Johnny, Grim, and Finn are hanging out by the pier. A boombox is playing music.*
Johnny Bravo

What the jolly are these bleep bloop sounds?

Finn

It’s this new genre Jake introduced me to! Trust me guys, if it’s a music genre coming from Jake, you KNOW it’s going to be totally ba-nae-nae! It’s called “PC Music”…

Grim

What does te “PC” stand for?

Finn

That’s the best part, I have no idea!

Johnny Bravo

Are you sure this ain’t some kind of devil incantation or somethin’? I think I’m startin’ to see things…

Finn

Nah, this stuff is 100% incantation free. Totally safe, nothing to worry about!

Grim

You sure? I’m seeing this weird pixelly thing ova there…

Finn

What? Hahaha, that’s wild– OH MY GLOB WHAT IS THAT?!?

Johnny Bravo

Boy, you need to turn this music off. It’s messing with our heads!

Finn

Wait a minute, wait a minute. That’s not a hallucination.

*Finn walks up to MissingNo.*
Finn

Hey there, spooky guy. Do you talk?

Finn

Yooooooooooou seem kinda familiar. Have we met?

MissingNo.

…No?

Finn

**GAAASP!!** Bizonkers! I know you!

Grim

Say what now? You know this fella?

Finn

Okay, okay. I remember BMO was showing me this urban legend of a monster in some game from a long time ago. I think it was called like “Pants Monsters” or something, and you had to like do this super specific thing to find it. But once you did, it would like, totally mess up your game and stuff! Like, super Jeffrey’d up stuff, man!

Johnny Bravo

Hey kid, where’s the off button on this thing? These beep boops are making me see some BAD stuff man…

Grim

It’s da one with te big square, you idiot.

Finn

Anyways, Hi! My name’s Finn. What’s your name?

Grim

Hey, kid! Your arm is a plant!

Finn

Huh? I thought I got that fixed…

MissingNo.

…Sorry….I should go…

Finn

Hold on! You got reality bending powers now, don’t you?

Finn

OH MY GLOB, THAT’S SO COOL.

Grim

Hrmph! That’s nottin’ special.

Finn

Ooo Ooo ooo! Can you make all of me into a plant!?!

MissingNo.

…uh…why?

Finn

Because it’d be totally wicked! Do it do it do it do it do it!

*Finn becomes a potted fern.*
Finn

Hahahahahahaha, that tickles!

Johnny Bravo

Ohh mama, these hallucinations are getting worse. Where the heck is this square button?

Finn

Okay, now make me a cactus!

Grim

You best be careful boy, you messin’ with sometin’ dangerous!

*Finn becomes a cactus.*
Finn

FEEEEARRR MEEEE!!! I’M POKEY!

MissingNo.

Heh…

Finn

OK, now make me some grass!

Grim

WHAT?!

*Finn becomes a field of grass.*
Finn

OoooooOOOOooooooo…

Grim

Oh, good. Keep your innocence, kid. It’s charmin’.

Finn

Okay, now let’s get serious here. Make me a Party Bear!

MissingNo.

…What’s a party bear?

Finn

What’s a Party Bear? Dude! Just like, make the most awesomest rad bear you can think of – that’s a party bear!

MissingNo.

Heh, okay.

*Finn transforms into a horrifying gigantic disfigured monster. Furry arms and legs are sticking out everywhere.*
Finn

RROOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRR

Grim

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Johnny Bravo

AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!

*Finn transforms back into his normal self.*
Grim

What the heck?!?!?!

Finn

Uuhhhhggg… what the bjork man…

Johnny Bravo

M-M-Momma…

Grim

I told you not ta mess with that thing, boy! No one listens to me!

Finn

…everything… hurts all over…

Grim

Let me show that thing a thing or two, now! Huh? Where’d it go?

*MissingNo is nowhere to be seen.*