The Lick – Jazz Cats Interview

Unregistered HyperCam 2

helo every1! 2day we interviewing the aristokats :3 they r mowths cusins

Meowth

Hey, buddy… Just cause I look like a cat don’t mean I’m a cat.

Meowth

Sitting in the studio with us today, we have Shades Dupris, Tom “Milk Bowl” Malone, and sphelonious donk. How are you guys feeling tonight?

Shades DuPris

Y’know, I could be in the shed right now. But I’m here. And I’m ready to groove.

Tom "Milk Bowl" Malone

I’m doin’ just fine, Seuss. Can I call you Seuss?

Meowth

Why?

Tom "Milk Bowl" Malone

Man, you’re the cat in the hat!

Meowth

Hm… no. And how about you, sphelonious? How are you doing tonight?

Unregistered HyperCam 2

very insiteful spelosos dong

Meowth

So you three go to Barkley’s College of SLAM! What is that?

Tom "Milk Bowl" Malone

Barkley’s is known for having big names graduate. All of the famous jazzers went there, man.

Shades DuPris

To be honest, I haven’t seen much of Charles Barkley around at all. But the school is mostly great! The classes are fun, but some of the musicians really suck. Can you fucking believe singer-songwriters?

Meowth

What I meant was that we’ve never heard of a Barkley’s College of SLAM! Even Google can’t find it. Have you been telling us the truth about how you got here?

Unregistered HyperCam 2

helo utub 2day i wil teach u how 2 fake credenshuls & get in2 kfad even if u r a LIAR

Tom "Milk Bowl" Malone

I dunno, dude. I got a scholarship for jazz guitar. What credentials do you have, dipshit?

Shades DuPris

Yeah! You probably couldn’t even find the tonic with a magnifying glass and some gin. Isn’t this tournament supposed to be a music competition?

Tom "Milk Bowl" Malone

We go to jazz school. By default, we’re the most talented musicians here. Who else came? A DJ? A crab? Fucking Pitbull? All that shit fucking sucks, man.

Meowth

OK, OK, I get it. A question submitted by fans for Shades: Why is your name Shades? Is it a nickname or a real name?

Shades DuPris

Both. That is all I am legally allowed to say.

Shades DuPris

I’ll explain later, Milk Bowl.

Meowth

And a question for Milk Bowl: Why are you such a massive jerk?

Tom "Milk Bowl" Malone

What the fuck, Seuss? You better stay in your lane. I bet you can’t even play an instrument, let alone arpeggiate a minor 9 chord as a flex.

Shades DuPris

It’s the same structure every time, dude. It’s not impressive; it’s just douchey.

Unregistered HyperCam 2

i wil rep0st this NOw!!

Meowth

For my final question: What do you think about Adam Levine?

Shades DuPris

Who’s that?

Tom "Milk Bowl" Malone

If I hear “She Will Be Loved” played one more time at an open mic, I’m going to blow my fucking brains out. That song is ass.

Meowth

Well, I’ll be here wishin’ ya good luck in the first round. Have a good one, cats!