haldo viewrs, 2day we r holdign n intervew with h0bart, teh epic mixin machine. ive been lookign 4ward 2 dis interview meowth, i cant w8 2 talk with teh legend himself XP
…uhh, that’s right, today we’re interviewing HOBaRT. The mixer. Except he doesn’t seem to be here right now.
did u check teh kitchen
Not yet, but how mobile can a half-ton mixer be? That guy doesn’t even have legs. (Is HOBaRT even a guy?)
w8… do u hear smth… it sounds liek… some1 shoutign “yeah” over n over rlly loudly…
Yeah… I hear a cart rolling too, and it sounds like it’s getting closer…

omg its hobart!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep! It seems HOBaRT has finally showed up to his interview! And he’s being pushed in on a cart by… Lil Jon? I knew you were in his source list, but I didn’t know you were HOBaRT’s, uhh, chauffeur?
YEAH, WHAT’S UP! IT’S LIL JON FOR HOBART, AND WE’RE HERE TO SHOW YOU ALL THE POWER OF MY FRIEND, THE ALL-NEW HOBaRT FROM HOBART!!!
whrRRRRRRRRRrrrrrr
So you’re here representing Hobart the company then?
WHAT?!
You’re representing Hobart the company?
WHAT?!
Hobart, the company, you’re here on their behalf?
YEAH!!!!!!
I guess that explains the technician uniform. Looks… snazzy.
vry nice 2 meet u mr hobart, im a big fanboi of urs
So, Mr. Jon, what makes this specific mixer worth bringing into this tournament? It seems like it’d make more sense to be entered into a cooking competition than a musical one.
THIS NEW HOBaRT FROM HOBART IS A BRAND NEW KIND OF MIXER FROM THE HOBART CORPORATION! ON THE OUTSIDE, IT LOOKS LIKE ANY OLD DOUGH MIXER YOU MIGHT SEE IN A COMMERCIAL KITCHEN LIKE A BAKERY OR PIZZERIA, BUT THE HOBaRT FROM HOBART IS DIFFERENT! IT DOESN’T JUST MIX DOUGH, BUT MUSIC TOO, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN’?
yea i get u
…no?
OKAY! HOBART TEAMED UP WITH SOME OF THE GREATEST ENGINEERS AND MASHUP ARTISTS IN AUSTRALIA, AND FROM THAT MASHUP THEY CREATED THE ALL-NEW HYPER OPERATIVE BAKING AND RIPPING TECHNOLOGY… A.K.A., THE NEW HOBaRT FROM HOBART! YEAH!!!
Australian mashup artists? You mean like Tri-
YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, I SAID AUSTRALIAN! LIKE CROCODILE DUNDEE-TYPE SHIT! THEY EVEN MADE IT SO THE ATTACHMENTS SPIN THE OTHER WAY, THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW IT’S REALLY FROM DOWN UNDER! BUT I DIGRESS, LET ME DEMONSTRATE THE POWER OF OUR ALL-NEW RIPPING TECHNOLOGY FOR YOU!
NOW Y’ALL GET OVER HERE AND WATCH WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I THROW THESE TWO SOURCES AS HOBaRT, LET’S SEE HOW HE HANDLES IT!
NOW BREAK IT DOWN HOBaRT, LET ME SEE YOU MIX IT UP!
WHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
aw yea, hobart tutorial, time 2 c how 2 maek high quality rips leik teh pros
WHRRRRRRRRRATATATATTATATATATACHUGACHUGACHUG
…so uh, how long are we gonna be waiting here for this to finish?
CHUGACHUGACLANKCLANKCLANKCLUGCLUGCLUGGRRHHHHHHHHHH WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHRRRR
nyanwth… u cant rush a geenus
WHRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrr……….
ALRIGHT, LET’S SEE WHAT HOBaRT’S COOKED UP! GET OVER HERE CAMERA BOY, I WANT YA TO GET A GOOD SHOT OF THIS FOR EVERYONE AT HOME!
NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M CALLIN’ HIGH QUALITY BABY! LOOK AT THAT BITCH, SHE’S BEAUTIFUL!!! YEAH!!!!!
Well color me impressed! I have one question though: why are you here, Lil Jon?
THE MARKETING TEAM AT HOBART THOUGHT THEY’D NEED A GOOD PITCHMAN, AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO SELL KITCHEN EQUIPMENT THAN WITH THE KING OF CRUNK HIMSELF? LIL JON NEVER TURNS DOWN AN OPPORTUNITY TO COLLABORATE!!!
dis guy knos how 2 c00k by teh b00k 2, i kno bcuz dat mashup made me go lol
REST IN PEACE STEFAN KARL!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, I think it’s just about time to wrap things up he-
meowth i want 2 ask hobart a queston
Sure, that’s fine.
mr hobart can i get ur autograph
whRRRRRhhhh
I CAN GET YOU MORE THAN AN AUTOGRAPH CAMERA BOY, YOU CAN GET YOUR VERY OWN HOBaRT FROM HOBART WITH ALL-NEW, PATENTED RIPPING TECHNOLOGY FOR JUST 17,777 DOLLARS!!!
woa dats alot of mony… tiem 2 look up an infinite mony cheat
dont worry, ill get dat mony n den ill buy ur freedom…
whrr….
…ok, I think we’re done here. Good luck, uh, HOBaRT.
bye hobart, im r00tin for u…
WHRRRRR!!!
YEAH!!!!!!!!
yeah!!!!!!!11!!!!1!!!!!!!!1!!!!11!!
…yeah?