Ultimate Interview of Ultimate Destiny


*The interview room is dark, Wobbuffet having been asked to stand by the light controls. Meowth and HyperCam sit in their usual spots. Meowth fiddles with his microphone in annoyance, and HyperCam sits happily waiting.*
Meowth

Uhh, HyperCam? Where are the interviewees? I thought you said Mr. Notwoodman finally approved of them…?

???

Psst, I thought I had to wait for your cue to come out?

Wob wobba!

???

Alright, then!

*Neil Cicierega bursts out from behind the interview backdrop, flipping into the chair!*

Wob!! *turns the lights from Off to Dim*

Unregistered HyperCam 2

neil ciciciregna intervirw waht!!11!1

Meowth

I, uhh, that’s right! Today we have a special guest, Allstar- aka Neil Cicierega!

Allstar

Glad to be here!

Meowth

Glad to have you, Allstar. So, for our first question- what have you been up to around Studio Gunner? Rumor is you’ve caused quite some trouble for Mr. Notwoodman.

Allstar

Ah yes! I do apologize- saving the area from cognitive corruption can cause quite a mess from time to time.

Unregistered HyperCam 2

allstair questuin: did u invent mashupz

Allstar

Oh- ah, uh haha sorry little guy but I don’t think that’s quite-

???

*giggle* You! You!

Allstar

(Shh! No I didn’t, and you don’t come out until later!)

Meowth

Hmm? Is that your fabled persona- the Lemon Demon?

Allstar

What? No, it was nothing, ignore that. Speaking of him though-

Allstar

LEMON DEMON- ITS TIME FOR SOME BUST-

*With an anticlimactic flourish of blue lights, lighting the dark room for a short moment, Lemon Demon appears behind Allstar.*
Lemon Demon

Yeah yeah, feel good feel good and all that- you got your light show last time.

Meowth

Impressive! So Lemon Demon, how are you?

Lemon Demon

Do you mean how am I or how am I?

Meowth

The former.

Lemon Demon

Ah yeah, I’m aight. Glad to be here compared to another palace.

Unregistered HyperCam 2

o yeh, how iz ur thing with ddd going neal?

Neil Cicierega

I- uh, yeah about that! We are no longer pursuing Dedede, the shadows all have massive hammers so I wasn’t able to get far… but! It’s not over, because the Phantom Thieves of Hearts have grown in numbers- and our next target shall be none other than the greedy, corporate shill- Thanos!

Neil Cicierega

(That’s your cue!)

Hat Kid dives onto the scene as a Beta-Mix Phantom Thief!<br />Art by Coach, Note: Hat Kid is not a bonus character and also can not receive any arrangements!
Hat Kid dives onto the scene as a Beta-Mix Phantom Thief!
Art by Coach, Note: Hat Kid is not a bonus character and also can not receive any arrangements!
Hat Kid

Hello! :3c

Lemon Demon

Eyyy, it’s the kid.

Neil Cicierega

Please welcome the newest Phantom Thief- Hatter!

Meowth

Well this is quite the surprise! Looks like The Phantom Thieves isn’t a one-man band anymore! Now, “Hatter”, was it? Would you mind telling us how you and Neil here decided to join forces?

Hat Kid

Oooo kitty!

*HatKid reaches out and starts to pet Meowth.*
Meowth

Hey, hands off bucko! I asked you a question!

Lemon Demon

Yeah, you’ll probably be better off with simple yes/no questions. The kid can get a little… distracted.

Meowth

I see… well, in that case Neil, would you mind telling us how you two met up?

Neil Cicierega

A true Phantom Thief never reveals all his secrets.

Meowth

Sigh… I suppose that’s fair…

Meowth

Moving on, you said that your next plan of action will be against none other than Thanos?

Neil Cicierega

Of course! The man is corrupt with greed, wanting nothing more than to help Disney gain a monopoly on the film industry!

Meowth

And after you cut your losses with both SiIvaGunner and Dedede, do you think you can beat Thanos?

Hat Kid

Nu-uh!

Neil Cicierega

Yes! We have great confidence in our abilities.

Meowth

Okayyy, well- another question for Neil. How do you feel about your old creations after so long? Things like Potter Puppet Pals, Ultimate Showdown, BrodyQuest, etc.? It’d be interesting to hear the creator’s thoughts on his works, since they were integral to many of our audience members’ childhoods.

Neil Cicierega

Ah, well I’m quite happy that I could make a lot of people smile by just doing my thing. If I’m honest, my real passion is just sorta making things, you know? This whole Phantom Thief gig might be fun, but it could never be more fun to me than simply fiddling around on a computer and entertaining myself. The bonus is that other people seem to like the stuff I make, so it all works out.

Lemon Demon

Well I think it’s bogus that some people still don’t know his damn name after all the divine shit he’s done.

*Hat Kid whips out her umbrella and bonks Lemon Demon for swearing!*
Lemon Demon

Right, right… point still stands though.

Unregistered HyperCam 2

question for short girl mario: can i ride in ur space ship l8r??

Hat Kid

Mhm!!

Neil Cicierega

That ship is quite the sight. A bit too impressive actually… it sort of brings a lot of attention to us…

Lemon Demon

I just like kicking the roomba around.

Meowth

Well then, looks like I’m out of questions. Any other comments from Studio Gunner’s very own Beta-Mix Phantom Thieves?

Neil Cicierega

That’ll be all, Meowth.

Neil Cicierega

(Wobbuffett, get the lights)

Wobba Wobbaaaa!

*Wobbuffett turns the lights all the way on. The light is blinding.*
Meowth

AAAUGH! MY EYES!

Unregistered HyperCam 2

if i had eyes this woud probly be prety painful…

Neil Cicierega

No, off! Turn them off!

o, wob wob

*Wobbuffett turns off the lights; after recovering for a few seconds, Neil and Hat Kid flip out of the room in style and jump off into the night.*
Meowth

Well, that sure was- oh, looks like they left already.

Meowth

I don’t know HyperCam… doesn’t it seem like their bark is bigger than their bite? I mean, first Neil went after SiIvaGunner, then he gave up and went after King Dedede, now after yet another failure he and Hat Kid are going after Thanos.

Unregistered HyperCam 2

shut up there cool!!!1

Meowth

Sigh, I’m going to my room…