McDonald’s is the Place to Rip

???

Hi, what can I get for you today?

Metal Ajit Pai

Hello! I would like one supersized Reese’s Cup McFlurry.

???

I’m sorry sir, we don’t sell Reese’s McFlurries.

Metal Ajit Pai

What? But I bought one here last week!

???

I’m sorry but it’s not something we serve.

Metal Ajit Pai

This is nutrageous! Get me your manager!

???

Yes sir.

*Moments later, an explosion can be heard.*
???

ice cream machine broke

Metal Ajit Pai

Understandable, have a good day.

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A “mysterious” breakfast with friends


*It’s breakfast time at the Gaylord Hotel. The breakfast room is almost empty. Escargoon and Dedede sit at one table, with a massive pile of food in front of him. At the next table, ZUN is hunched over, in slight pain.*
ZUN

Heh… it seems like I overdid it last night…

King Dedede

Grrrn, can ya believe it Escargoon?! Beaten by some stupid skeleton outta nowhere… that was so much more humiliatin’ compared to last time!

Escargoon

With all due respect, your majesty, this battle was still very close. You did a great fight, worthy of a dict- um, of a true king!

ZUN

Hey, Dedede, it looks like we both got taken out by the pale ones, heh? *laughs*

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Immaterial and Miss M Power – Mariya Takeuchi and ZUN Interview

Meowth

It’s Round Three of the King for Another Day Tournament folks, and you know what that means! That’s right, it’s more interviews with yours truly!

Meowth

We’re kicking it off with a double interview with Mariya Takeuchi, who just defeated Off the Hook, and ZUN, who just dropped down to the losers’ bracket after a defeat from Law & Disorder. Both of them are set to go up against each other to start off the next round. Welcome back, you two!

Mariya Takeuchi

Hello! It’s good to be here again.

ZUN

Same. Before we start, do any of you happen to know why the Reimu doll I’ve been carrying around has a patched-up hole on her side all of a sudden?

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A Gift from Gift – Reimu Fumo interview

Meowth

…and then I said, “Exeggutor? I hardly even knew her!”

Unregistered HyperCam 2

lolololololol. meowth u r so random, i wish i had a mouth so i cud enjoi dis lunch with u evn moar

Meowth

Why not ask Robotnik while he’s here? He’s a machine guy.

Unregistered HyperCam 2

idk, if i started eatin then id have 2 start poopin n dat seems p gross O_O …say wats dat on teh table behind u

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Please Wait Warmly – ZUN Interview

Unregistered HyperCam 2

hi evry1! 2day’s interview will b with n0ne 0ther than da creator of 2hu, zun! honk honk

Meowth

That’s right! We’re here with the one-man army behind the Touhou Project series, Mr. Jun’ya Ota, better known as ZUN! It’s an honor to have the creator of such a beloved series in this tournament, how have things been for you so far?

ZUN

Things have been going well! The hotel bar stocks Kirin, which was a pleasant surprise. *laughs*

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ZUN

With his imperishable love for alcohol, and his influences on his sleeve (along with the rest of his shirt), ZUN is ready to re-enter the tournament! He’s the embodiment of bullet heck with music that spans across the entire bullet hell genre. Anybody who crosses his path better be prepared for a carousel of agony!

  • Sources
  • Rips featuring songs composed by ZUN
  • Rips featuring music related to the Touhou franchise (including fan projects)
  • Rips featuring music from games in the bullet hell genre
  • Rips related to alcohol
  • Examples
  • Beloved Tomboyish Daughter, Lunatic Eyes ~ Invisible Full Moon
  • Hate not the Wind, Spring Blossoms, Far‑East El Dorado
  • DonPachi, Ikaruga, ESCHATOS, Radiant Silvergun
  • U Was At The Club (Bottoms Up), Tipsy, songs by Alestorm, VA‑11 Hall‑A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action
Illustration: Coach (@CoachArt_) ft. Lenox (@Lenoxmst)