McDonald’s is the Place to Rip

???

Hi, what can I get for you today?

Metal Ajit Pai

Hello! I would like one supersized Reese’s Cup McFlurry.

???

I’m sorry sir, we don’t sell Reese’s McFlurries.

Metal Ajit Pai

What? But I bought one here last week!

???

I’m sorry but it’s not something we serve.

Metal Ajit Pai

This is nutrageous! Get me your manager!

???

Yes sir.

*Moments later, an explosion can be heard.*
???

ice cream machine broke

Metal Ajit Pai

Understandable, have a good day.

Continue reading “McDonald’s is the Place to Rip”

You Don’t Know Jack


*The Jack Bros. are walking down the hall after their loss to see Jack comforting Elmo.*
Jack Black

H-hey! C’mon now, Elmo. We did great together, and that’s something to be proud of!

Elmo

B-but Jack… We didn’t win…

Jack Black

It doesn’t matter if we won or not, all that matters is if we had fun together, right? The fiery heart of a champion can’t be quenched by a failure or an embarrassment!

Elmo

But… but…

*Jack Frost and Mothman walk up to them.*
Jack Frost

Hee-hey, there’s no need to be sad, ho!

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Dinner Under Pressure


*The dining hall.*
Solid Snake

…what is this?

Pitbull

Creepy pasta!

Eminem

What’s with the spooky theme? Is it fuckin’ Halloween now or somethin’?

Elmo

No, silly! It’s pasta day!

Jack Black

Hey, watch your language…

Elmo

Huh? Silly isn’t a bad word, Mr. Black!

Jack Black

…You’re right Elmo, my bad! Silly is an okay word to use… unlike some other words…

Eminem

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The Crown of Destiny


It’s just another lunch break in the Gaylord cafeteria, and everyone’s got quite the appetite.
Elmo

…and then Elmo said to Mr. Adam as he was leaving the hotel lobby, “It ain’t easy being Levine!”

Wario

WAAAHAHA! I hope the door didn’t hit him on the way out!

Dr. Piccolo

I would hope so…I took a look at his medical records and I don’t believe his insurance covers that…

Jack Black

Hey now, let’s not pile up on somebody when he’s not here to defend himself!

Waluigi

Waaaa…maybe he should have done better in the tournament then!

Jack Black

Hold that thought…I need to get a refill for my drink-

*Jack’s phone suddenly rings, and the “Take Off and Octagon” ringtone he just set on it reverberates throughout the cafeteria*
Jack Black

Hang on, I gotta take this. Elmo, you can keep these fellows company while I’m gone, right?

Elmo

You can count on Elmo, Mr. Jack! Even more than the Count does!

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Summoning Satan

Mr. Satan

Gwaaaaahahaaaaaa- oof! P-please Mr. Piccolo, I was only jokin’! I-it was just a prank bro, I swear!

Dr. Piccolo

Oh no, you’re not getting away this time. I spent a decade studying medicine just to be upstaged by some idiot in a bathrobe? Well I’m going to put that degree to use. I know exactly how the human body is constructed, and I know how to take it apart piece by piece! SAY GOODBYE, MR. SATAN!

???

Did somebody just call me?

Dr. Piccolo

Shit, someone’s coming.

???

Sounds like it came from over there.

Dr. Piccolo

Hmm, it’s that other doctor. But who’s he brought with him?

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The Yappy Tournament’s Paragons of Magnificent Virtuoso



*The cafe, quite busy. Jack & Elmo are sitting at a table, training. A big shadow approaches them.*
Elmo

Ho ho ho, ho ho ho, stop, stop, stop!

Jack Black

You got a nice rhythm going there, little buddy!

Dr. Robotnik

Ohhhh, look who’s there thinking they’re the new hot sensation in town.

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Ape-ologies.

Donkey Kong

*sigh* Welp… I guess that’s it huh, the best man won…

Diddy Kong

Woah… DK, what’s up?

Donkey Kong

I lost, Diddy.

Diddy Kong

Oh no… Sorry, big buddy.

Jack Black

Hey Diddy, can we talk to you for a second?

Diddy Kong

Yeah! I’ll be there in a sec! I’ll be right back big buddy, hang tight.

Continue reading “Ape-ologies.”

Buddies Big and Small – DK and Jack & Elmo Interview

Unregistered HyperCam 2

helo evry1 welcom bak 2 the Silva gunner king 4 another day interview.

Meowth

That’s right! I’m your host as always! I’m sitting here with Jack Black, Elmo, and Donkey Ko-

Donkey Kong

Hey Jack, you want a banana?

Jack Black

My gratitude, Donkmeister.

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